Ethan Hill
Drive all night
The mile markers
pass one by one,
not an indicator
of distance but a gauge
of commitment.
with every sign I drift
sliding towards the future
deeper into uncertainty.
The sun crests the horizon,
illuminating my mirror
blinding my rear view vision,
I take it as a sign just as concrete
as the ones for the cheap gas stations
that dot the freeway, come back,
you still have time, they won’t wake
for hours.
A billboard, first baptist
exit 47 come and be
saved, I left safety
with a stuffed duffle
and half a tank of gas.
I was raised to believe
safety was Sunday church
and subtle hate. Sly glances
and slurs where no one could hear.
I am no safer now
than I have ever been.
At least this time
I chose my danger.
Falling/coming out
I knew there would bean end
the first time
your face lit up. Too
bright I squinted and
settled for shadow.
I loved you as a child
laughs freely and with
all my body could gather,
mistaken for weakness
asserting independence.
We fell into each other as
gravity dictates, fast, constant,
with terrible knowledge of where
we would land yet yearning
for the surety of the impact.
You knew me as the pen knows
the words that spill from its ink,
spilling forth in song and praise
before they earn the chance to
define themselves in permanence.
You could see the ending the day
we began, distant but sure, still
you held your hand out, me clinging
as you pulled me with you over
the edge, I am still waiting to land.
leaving the world behind
I abandoned my history before
it could fade into myth and haze
early morning hanging mist
no clear path forward
pressing onward despite
the unknown ground I so
tentatively set myself upon
alone now I take myself apart with
the rising of the day only looking to see
what has healed where scars remain
when the last light evaporates to nights
where breath is ecstasy and minutes flow
smooth and savored hours glide into a
vast tranquility
past is now fiction faded as i
fabricate fallow futures floundering
in the sea of everything i can be
in a world just deep enough to drown
in returning comes concession,
embracing the pain that drove me
and finding comfort in that lingering ache
date with a full moon
The sun does not
set here among
brittle roads and
steadfast oaks
she sinks yet
doesn’t submerge
Casts her last
rays of light in a
weightless blanket
that shimmers
At the edges of visions
and in the hearts of
those restless dreamers
who slumber under
her soft watch careful
to pay her no mind
Bio
Ethan Hill is a senior from UCM pursuing a degree in digital media production with a minor in Communications. After graduation he plans on working at a television station or video production house in the Kansas City area. In his spare time he enjoys running, screenwriting, and catching up on all the classic literaturehe missed in high school.